Tick Tock Goes the Clock

clock tick Tock

A large extent of my adolescent life I had a fear of time running out!!!! That the dreams that I had would not be fulfilled within the timeline that I wanted.

“Forever Young!!! do you really want to live forever… forever!!” Psalm 22:26 ESV The afflicted shall eat and be satisfied; those who seek him shall praise the Lord! May your hearts live forever!

In a life with many blissful moments but also plagued by disease and seemingly unnecessary evil acts, sometimes its hard to see the balance. My intention is not to be morbid but to hopefully highlight my perspective. To fear lack of time or my end would be to idolize my own desires above the will of God. Giving it more importance than Him… also to think that this world is all that there is would be rather grim.

Fearing time like I did sends you off on a pursuit hot pursuit nfs
of things that often were not meant to be yours …{there’s that Ishmael again} tirelessly striving to feel some how satisfied. Lets just say I failed to obtain a solid and continuous, unfailing, soul reaching satisfaction from the things I sought. This I learnt could only be found in Christ to truly satisfy  me soul deep!!!  John Piper says that ” God is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in him” and this makes sense; if I created a creature I would want to know that it was best pleased by my care for it. Psalm 103:1-5 {ESV} Of David. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!

We have to constantly guard our heart and search ourselves to discern where we are putting our focus. I’ve been actively practicing guarding my heart with prayer and supplication all the while being thankful but continually watchful. I’m learning about the other ways of  guarding your❤ too.

Proverbs 4:23 Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

God am I truly satisfied in you? Am I dwelling on “fill in blank” more than I should am I thinking of whatsoever is pure and lovely ?

In passing I think about the fragility of this human life and now especially after a recent family scare!! I am reminded not to let the focus be on death but on the life…life more abundantly.

1.If you were to die today how would you want people to remember you (your life) ?

As Meek Milly of course: they may say she was sweet, loving, sometimes funny, a bit quirky and all that goes along with that the full package of intricacies that make me, ME!! I hope they’d love what they remember of me and that they could see God’s work in me !! I pray that my life and even my death would bring glory to him.

2. What are some of your regrets? Or are you saying Non je ne regrette rien

Not following through with my piano lessons and not always listening to my parent’s advice in the past, compromising on belief and not trusting God sooner. Alas even the bad in my past life is working together for some good ,some of which I know :I learnt because of it and grew as a person and the other “good” maybe I don’t know what it is yet but perhaps it could help someone else? Perhaps! I hope if you’re reading this you wouldn’t have to go through any bad😦  even if its self-inflicted ..this is my❤ wish!!!

3.Do you know that the human life is only part of your souls existence ? Do you know where you’d be heading after you died?

Yes, I am currently living with eternity in mind and working out my own salvation to be with Christ when I die!!

4. If you knew you only had a critical amount of time left what would you do with this time?

 I would want to be around the people I love the most. I don’t want to die without the people I care about knowing it so I’d let them know or I’d show them all the more by my actions on their behalf. I would try to tell even just one more person (more if possible) what I believed in so that they would know Christ too.. 

Love God, be generous in your giving, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, love others, do the best with what you have, wherever you are be all there (Be Intentional) , seek Jesus, be fruitful, search your heart daily, repent, persevere and focus on eternity…bring a friend!!

{feel the weight of your timely existence}

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