Fleeting encounters + experiencial dimness

A captive to my thoughts ūüí≠¬†feeding the triggers,I asked the question. The answer: My interpretation,
In that moment I didn’t stop to properly identify what you had mentioned, No that was furthest from my attention. THERE I am in the darkness looking for earthly comforts, pleasures and thrills with the hope that they could satisfy and dispel the dim, Life was dull or at worst too painful without this passing thrill.
The nagging voice says *foolish* don’t you know this will soon die out?
#Transient…#false….#dim….#fleeting
I know its true,
The taunting onslaught of questions arose again boldly in mind view Y?
Y were these barriers blocking me from experiencing the fullness of knowledge of YOU?
Why had I believed the lie  that I was lost beyond finding and these slanted Lines of mine #crooked #unparalleled could never be made straight?
Y had I thought that the pollution could not be cleared? To breathe life again?
Y¬†do I sinfully¬†devalue the power of Christ’s resurrection?
Y was I so aloof, so self indulgent?
Y did bad things happen to people?
Y must I deny what I desire?
Y was my sight so lacking?
Y couldn’t I see?
Not the Holy One but me !
Y was I thinking of I not Thee
Trapped in these iron bars of strategic plots against me, what would set me free other than the very light of Christ ūüí°¬†and the work HE¬†did on the tree!
The sun is not outed whether it sets or rises. It is simply not for a time in my GLANCES.
But time was running out I needed to SEE.
The haze that blocked it refracted even greater colour: so the difficulties that are overcome by Christ burst forth with glory to his name: according to his will, if we sought him, if we fixed our eyes to see:HIM, if we acknowledged him our paths would also be made straight through his understanding not ours….. not my invention!!
Open our eyes to see you through the haze and overcome the dim.
Meditating on 1peter 2 and 1 John 2:17 
Key Verses
1 peter 2:9 Amplified Bible, Classic Edition (AMPC) 9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a dedicated nation, [God’s] own [d]purchased, special people, that you may set forth the wonderful deeds and display the virtues and perfections of Him Who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.

1 John 2:17 Amplified Bible, Classic Edition (AMPC)17 And the world passes away and disappears, and with it the forbidden cravings (the passionate desires, the lust) of it; but he who does the will of God and carries out His purposes in his life abides (remains) forever.

If I………..Love me Still?

If I were an orphan would you adopt me?

If I was a harlot would you stone me to death or instead with compassion say “go and sin no more”?

If I was a disobedient child would you not chasten me?

If I wasn’t pretty would you love me still?

If I didn’t wear nice clothes would you even look my way?

If I fell would you dust me off?

If I was in tears would you cheer me up?

If I didn’t have any skills would you teach me new ones?

If I couldn’t walk on my own would you push my chair?

If I was learning a new trade would you be patient with me?

If I asked for prayer or confiding in you, would you stop and actually pray for me there?

If I never said a word or was overly boisterous would you still try to befriend me?

If I was deaf would you learn to sign?

If I got you upset would you forgive me 70×7?

If I was terminally ill would you bring me greetings, embrace me and never let go?

If I needed help would you be willing?

If I was foolish would you not try to share wisdom?

If I had scars all over me would you still look upon me as beautiful?

If I was a felon would you visit me behind bars?

If I was barren would I be enough?

If I was hungry would you feed me?

If I had nothing would you provide?

If I lost someone close to me would you grieve with me?

If I had no voice would you speak for me?

If I was lonely would you sit with me?

If I was lost would you try to lead me to the truth?

If I like a sheep had gone astray would you come find me?

If I was crashing would you try to resuscitate me?

If I needed saving would you lay done your life?

We all need saving

I know the one who Saves

His name is Jesus

While we were yet sinners Christ died for US

I place my hope in HIM

Romans 5:6Amplified Bible (AMP)6 While we were still helpless [powerless to provide for our salvation], at the right time Christ died [as a substitute] for the ungodly.

John 15:13King James Version (KJV) 13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7Amplified Bible (AMP)4 Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. 5 It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. 6 It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. 7 Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].

{Thinking about LOVE}

Dross So

‘Take away the dross from the silver,¬†And there comes out [the pure metal for] a vessel for the silversmith [to shape].’Proverbs 25:4

Smith and  Potter Extraordinaire

Dear God,

I’m writing to ask for your forgiveness but also for your help. You see I have this item which is in need of mending. I’ve discovered dross. This is not a return to sender address but an expression of concern for your much needed help. I should ¬†be clear to not downplay how marvelous ¬†your product is. Oh I love that you ¬†designed it. I am in love with all your work. All of it so creative and beyond anything I have ever seen. ¬†But I have come to realize that there are entities that do not appreciate your design. They have come to slander your name and make counterfeits, knock-offs and even destroy the genuine. I’m writing because I am one of them who has been affected and I need your intervention. Would you remind me again of the tools you provided to defend? You already conquered but there ¬†is still a fight till the promised end. Your full Armour I need! Your word! ¬†I need it to be constantly stored inside my soul. I need a heart aligned to yours, to your WILL, I need to walk with your Holy spirit, my teacher. I’m writing to confirm again my enrollment in Jesus’s discipleship school. Am I in?

¬†My Mind with all its¬†matter, clefts and compartments: processing and sending signals throughout my body. ¬†Involuntarily ticking over, keeping my balance, my medulla oblongata, what a name!! Mind:It has the power to recollect ¬†a memory stored deep in the subconscious and¬†the ability to hold onto the knowledge of your truth. ¬†There’s seemingly no limit to what it can do and there are whole fields of study trying to understand it. My mind also has the capacity to learn! What a designer you are, Oh Potter, Oh GOD, you are more splendid than your creation and beyond!

Yet I fear that along the way I may have learnt the wrong things. How many Lies have I believed about my self and others even about you ? How many times have I listened to the evil around and my mind repeating it accused me, again and again until eventually it became me. I can hear the taunts some are whispers, some in shouts even now.

How many times did I not know you nor understand the work of your cross or despise you my mind thinking something else was more desirable? oh what loss and great cost? Tears blemish these pages as I write to you. Help me drown out the voice of deceit like noise cancelling headphones placed over my ears never again removed , let me hear your word purely. Like a cataract removal surgery or better still a miraculous lens repair help me to fully see YOU.

Would you  renew my mind to your beautiful design. Help me learn and keep only what is right 

Remove the dross in my mind 

My heart a chamber, the right and the left pumps continuously my blood through my vessels round about. The oxygenated blood through the Aorta and down again, with all the valves and sensory triggers sparking electrical signals to pump in sequence. Its truly miraculous the systems you intricately created.  My figurative heart an emotive mystery is rather more like my mind as part of my soul in me receives love from others and pumps out love in return. My love was not meant to be like the ebb and flow motion of the tide of an ocean but rather like the beating muscle and blood in constant motion. It was supposed to love regardless of the potion.

But somewhere my heart failed: a myocardial infarction or maybe just a blockage as my vessels grew hardened and I could not love rightly but selectively, a twisted distortion and very much requiring your medicine. An aching heart seeking affection that you had already given. A whole in my heart threatens my existence and those evil plots try to mend it but their procedures are those of quacks making the condition worsen and I require a divine physician  and that is you!!

How could I know what love is when my heart did not know you! Please steady my heart as its so often searching for human love when you have already given me your love unending.I want to be reminded of the pursuit of Christ for there is no greater love that when I WAS YET A SINNER CHRIST DIED FOR ME  (and any other human reading this too).!!

Remind me what love really means and that I am loved by You !

Love is YOU

Remove the dross in my heart ‚̧¬†

My Life I was given as a gift¬†from you. You said here take this and make sure that you make much of me as the designer. I’m afraid I’ve sometimes made a mess of it. Making much of me and often allowing¬†myself¬†to be destroyed because I was self seeking. I know now this ¬†was far from your hope ¬†for the end! Oh Smith, is my consistency still worth working on now? ¬†Humanly I think this is all I have , all I am left with. But Christ died and so did I with him that I may be transformed into his likeness so its not I that live but him in me? Oh may you be!! For I am not there yet but I push on.

I am prone to forget that I am but a steward and this was all for you. I am inclined to produce these things with my hands but you despise works done by us for the glory of us. For am I then not competing for your position?

How long shall I provoke you to anger with the works of my hand Oh these IDOLS!!

I have turned my back to you and not my face

ASHAMED , BECAUSE WE BUILT THIS PLACE !!!!

As for your instruction who wanted it when I thought my way was pleasing for the present while, because the evil plotters say YOLO why fear consequence?I know you will remind me that I only live or Die forever and the choice is mine. Yet you chose me BEFORE time so I write so I can hold true to your design. You¬†are the Lord is there anything to difficult for you¬†? I know nothing you aren’t able to do!

May I be content with what resources I have and offer it back to you with willing worship.

Oh Potter, Oh Smith Oh My God

Please remove the dross in my LIFE .

I come to you with all I have,

Your grateful and now faithful

 Steward

Meditating on Jeremiah 32 and Proverbs 25

Key Verse:Jeremiah 32:38-41Amplified Bible (AMP)

38 They will be My people, and I will be their God; 39 and I will give them one heart and one way, that they may [reverently] fear Me forever, for their own good and for the good of their children after them. 40 I will make an everlasting covenant with them that I will do them good and not turn away from them; and I will put in their heart a fear and reverential awe of Me, so that they will not turn away from Me. 41 I will rejoice over them to do them good, and I will faithfully plant them in this land with all My heart and with all My soul.

 

Hoop on Honey

Hello it‚Äôs Milly I know it‚Äôs been awhile but things have been otherwise engaging or dear I say stressful. I ¬†won’t keep you too long.

Have you ever felt soul crushingly, body can’t go on, heart folding, mind working in futile silo; to the point where any minute the launch of a missile will be announced, or a fuse will be blown, all around tired: don’t know what to do or to say and feeling the weight of it all?

I reckon at some point through all that life brings our way we might feel this to varying degrees. With much-needed grace upon grace from God to bear it for us because we simply can’t in our own strength.

This week I got a reminder like a hug from a father you loved but hadn‚Äôt seen in a while. Like you were phoning home all the time, He was checking in but you hadn‚Äôt seen in person. Or you had forgotten he was in the same room as if standing back to back, you know his voice you know he‚Äôs there for you but you hadn‚Äôt seen his face. It just so happened that as life hit you, you got a terrible sense of being overwhelmed or distracted and whatever it was started to blare louder in your life than the voice of your father.This was me!!!! Not recognizing that I was wrestling not against flesh and blood, my weapons were not carnal but they were mighty for the pulling down of strongholds and powerful enough to refute anything that set itself up against the full knowledge of God, therefore I WILL lead every thought and purpose captive to the obedience of Christ even in situations where supposedly trusted “others” ¬†are telling you what to think!! 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 Who’s report am I to believe?

As I was reading for bible study Romans 2:7 the word ‚ÄėPatient Persistence‚Äô jumped out to me in the Greek: ‚ÄúhypomonŠłó ‚Äô (Hoop-om-on-ay) which means endurance, especially as God enables the believer to properly remain under the challenges he allows in life.‚ÄĚ Then God made me laugh because of how he assimilated the word to apply directly to me and I actually laughed whilst climbing out of the pit of despair where life was ushering me. It went like this:

Hoop-om-on-ay……………………Selah………………..Hoop on Honey !!! Not to trivialise the word but it made me chuckle ¬†(at work when it hit me)

I laughed because God knows how much I love Hula Hooping but then there was more !!!

hypomonŠłó¬†means that in my current season no matter what is hard to face I should keep on doing that which is pleasing to God, keep on praising, keep on trusting and hoping, keep on leaning on his understanding,keep on praying, keep on pushing in his direction, keep on seeking his glory, hounour, peace and eternity.¬†

As God is calling me to Hoop on Honey ( again not to trivialise) He reminds me that He is a hoop around us he is surrounding each of us who follow him in his love, it encircles us, the only difference is that his encirclement never drops. He continues on he is patient with us, he is good, he is merciful, he is long suffering with us, he is fore-bearing and he loves with an everlasting love giving us the strength of Himself in place of our weakness. CONSTANTLY!!!! Don’t you dear take the kindness and goodness for granted though he’s beaconing for you to turn from yourself or your situation and your sin to HIM,¬†lest you store up his wrath. Take comfort in knowing that whilst facing LIFE, whatever you are going through he encircles you, his Joy and Peace will come into the circle and give you hope no matter how difficult that may seem to you at this moment. I like the idea of a circle because let‚Äôs be honest sometimes it doesn‚Äôt feel like a comfortable hug but rest assured you are still surrounded and soon enough you’ll feel that heart peace. At every turn focus on him!!

Though living is in a time of chaos and lacking in understanding we lean not upon ourselves to fathom it but upon Jesus through whom we can have that inner peace that passeth understanding (see Philip. 4:7). Though we may often be perplexed we know that God loves us, we may be hard pressed but in the felicity of his ways, the knowledge of him can and will sustain us through all that life will bring. How can we know that God is aware of us and loves us? His word tells us ‚ÄĒ but also if we were to zoom out for a moment and honestly count our blessings we would see how he imparted his grace over us even in the difficulty, so never forget to use the wide angle lenses of HOPE !!!! He also tells us by the still, small voice of the Spirit so keep listening you shall surely hear it! 1 Kings 19:11-13

I know it’s immensely tough but I hope you can remember your source is Almighty GOD.

May you have joy in the morning.

Be COURAGEOUS enough to hope dear heart and hoop on !!

hypomonŠłó

This just scratches the surface!

Life in Black Skinny Jeans

I wore black skinny jeans to work today and I walked down Richmond Street alone,

I wondered if there were any risks to me unknown,

Big corporate businesses I passed thinking surely there is safety here,

Gas station, banks, Car showrooms, even a school in my stare,

Every block I passed brought a contemplation anew of the precious one gruesomely lost over there,

 

East seems far from the west but to think it different: in jest?

I went about my day thankful I made it to stay,

In a cubical office of material walls, I’m safe,

But who on earth can truly protect me in this state?

Protect my Soul, oh God!!!!

All day I pondered the wickedness of man and cried out to Father to heal this land,

Starting with hearts to turn to him,

Consoling the hurting ones,

 

It was time for lunch so to the pavements again,

I stood, waiting my turn then sat in a corner alone, around the ben’,

I looked up at the CCTV wondering if you were watching.

Surely no danger is lurking from the Mister sitting?

I politely say good afternoon, hating that I’m forced to think this way!!!

I like to see the best in people but is this pure naivety’ ?

 

Lunch is over I’m safe, to the pavement again,

Men I pass holla gooday sweetness,

I politely say good afternoon then,

I can see you gazing at my hips as I meander on,

Yes my hips don’t lie but that’s none of your business,

 

Thinking of the ones we’ve lost and the vulnerability of us all?

How‚Äôs your soul today ? How’s your heart ? What would you do if today was your last?

 

{feel the weight of it}

God has been working on me

Be God-spective

Instead of overly Introspective or people pleasing.

Be Confident

Instead of wimpy and second guessing.

Be Powerful

Because I am weak but he is strong

Be Sound-minded

Instead of emotionally out of wack and lacking control

Be Loving

Understanding that Love is the noun (GOD) and a verb (overflow).

Be Gracious

Instead of thankless because it is the will of God

Be God-spective

Instead of overly Introspective or people pleasing.

I am highly Introspective as is the nature of someone easily placed in the introvert box (I abhor these labels but this is another story) ¬†Pride can either make you think of yourself¬†more highly than you should or it can belittle you to thinking that you are scum of the earth, anyone want to hazard a guess which one attacks ‘MEEK’ Milly? Or maybe it’s both in different seasons; Either way, when I feel this way it’s because my focus is off. The Simpsons episode 2 season 9 ralph wiggum questionBoth of these take your eyes off of Jesus and become ¬†so self-focused it’s always about me,me, ME: I am highly favoured by others/I am scum you see how both of these are toxic ? The idol is, SELF! ¬†I’ve battled with the issue of acceptance from my pairs etc I’ve often thought, in the past and would ask why don’t I have as many friends as I deserve, and in this tech era I would use Social media as a means to demark value to my person: how many likes did I get again?

None= Oh Man, I suck !!!

Image result for me to me meme¬†These all leave us feeling empty, lonely and lack real value. Innate to all of us is a desire to be accepted, to belong I often feel like I don’t belong but God has satisfied my deepest need in this and continues to on a moment by moment basis as I keep looking to him. With the knowledge of my acceptance by the almighty, God then revealed to me the condition of my heart and though it grieves me, the issue is plain to me now: I was completely me focused. It was not a matter of me asking: how can I be a friend it was why aren’t people being my friend. Who can I show kindness to and actively ‘see’ today it was why aren’t people seeing me. I see the passage with Paul talking to the ministers as a reminder not to become consumed with a boosting mindset of my own worth He warns in ¬†1 Corinthians 4:6¬†“7¬†For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?” Ultimately we didn’t deserve anything but what we received was graciously given.

Reality Check!!

I have received the greatest gift and acceptance I could ever need and that was from God , Jesus died for us all that we might be accepted in his Kingdom #JOYFULweep!!

So now with God as my judge, ¬†I strive to ask¬†how is God seeing me today? ¬†With his spirit at work in me, I can bear the reply because I know he’ll refine any imperfection as I steward all that he gives.

In this area of my life I cling to this verse Hebrews 12:1-2 : Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Be Confident

Instead of wimpy and second guessing.

fabulous confident julie andrews twirl

That moment when you’re shy to go up to a public stranger in a bank or office and ask a question and you refuse to¬†because you’re not about that bold,assertive life. (Get it done) Or you have to talk to your boss about training opportunities or a raise, but you delay to send that email. ¬†(Send it) Or afraid to share the joy of your faith with someone (be ready), Or how about that moment when Jesus died on that cross for all your sin and shame but you’re still hiding behind the torn veil because the devil would love to keep you timid, doubtful, pessimistic of the outcome, separated from the answer your question may have received had you seized the moment to ask it, now you have to stand in the long queue or maybe never know the answer. Sorry!!

Or how about when you are constantly second guessing yourself or your actions rather than trusting the work of the Holy Spirit in you. Confidence is an area I have struggled in especially with regard to the veil, the devil had me in a cycle of sin and shame for a long time ūüė¶ these all prevented me from walking confidently. What really helps me is pursuing a deeper knowledge of God and a deeper understanding of who he says that we are as children of God.

Does this mean that I am the most confident person in the world now? No, But I know the value of the gift of the Holy Spirit within me and I am increasingly confident with weights of shame set far away from me. My prayer lately is that he would make me brave. What also helped me greatly is to understand that I am not God, I will need help, I will have weaknesses but his strength is made perfect in my weakness and with my life’s purpose I hold onto two truths from¬†these verses:

God is my source and my sufficiency!!

2 Corinthians 3:4-6 4 Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. 5 Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, 6 who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

I am a Child of God!! Blessed are the spiritually reborn!!

Hosea 1:10-11¬†(partial verse)“instead of it being said to them, You are not My people, it shall be said to them, Sons of the Living God!”¬†

You heard?

Be Powerful

Because I am weak but he is strong

There are countless stories in God’s word that show His power in the lives of his people, try the three Hebrew boys not burning in the fire, try Moses parting the red sea, barren women like Sarah giving birth and so much more. In addition to all these lessons, I must remind myself that the same power that conquered the grave lives in me. When you read his word he reveals promises and there’s unfolding of his will ¬†for us if that doesn’t infuse you with empowerment I don’t know what else could. Power from on high what could top that ?Ephesians 1:17-2217¬†that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, 18¬†having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19¬†and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20¬†that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, 21¬†far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. 22¬†And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, 23¬†which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.

Part of the unfolding that God impacted upon me is the discipline of prayer, he wants us to pray without ceasing and have gratitude in all circumstances as we joyfully rejoice James 5:16-17 The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.[b] 17 Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months, it did not rain on the earth. 18 Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit.

What about my limp though? The thorn in my flesh, that constant reminder of how much I need God’s grace? As I pray earnestly to God he holds my right hand and comforts me saying:¬†“2 Corinthians 12:9¬†9¬†But he said to me, ‚ÄúMy grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.‚ÄĚ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”¬†

Be Sound-minded

Instead of emotional and lacking control

I don’t claim to be wise at all but I fear the Lord and I am praying for it!!!Image result for picture of emily the strange Being sound minded doesn’t mean I become an unfeeling robot, a zenned out yogi, an over-intellectual or lack emotions. Ok confession I am sometimes really emotional but I am not controlled by this I have been given a spirit of self-control not of a hidden emo girl sitting in a dim room crying to sad emo tunes or rock anthems of old though the temptation is great!!!

I’ve come to realise that being sound-minded means choosing moment by moment what I will be meditating on instead of ¬†allowing the world to tell me what I should think or feel, or provide a definition of what wisdom is and check boxes for me, rather I will listen to God’s voice and dwell in the light, praising His name and seeking his truths.

2 Corinthians 10:5English Standard Version (ESV) 5 We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to obey Christ,

Be Loving

Understanding that Love is the noun (GOD) and a verb ( Overflow).

1 John 4:8 (ESV) 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God because God is love.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbour as yourself. (Matthew 22:37‚Äď39)

  1. Know the noun (GOD) that is love and seek him with all your heart (My steady pursuit)
  2. Overflow with love for others. (teach me to love like you )

I often look up definitions of love there are some really great ones by Voodie Baucham but this one by ¬†John Piper¬†Desiring God¬†stood out¬†: ‚ÄúLove is the overflow of joy in God that gladly meets the needs of others‚ÄĚ (119).Love is not merely the action of meeting others‚Äô needs; it includes the motive¬†of the action. True love cherishes God supremely as the supreme Treasure and therefore wants others to also cherish the supreme Treasure and be eternally happy.¬†I really long for the love described in Corinthians 13 to be truly, madly ¬†and deeply be displayed in my life and in those around me !!!!!(Love Is Not a¬†Verb )

Even greater than the definitions of men was that shown by Christ on the cross  John 15:13 (AMPC) No one has greater love [no one has shown stronger affection] than to lay down (give up) his own life for his friends. We are his friends if we do what he asks of us.heart simple beating heart simplicity

I long to follow this example

Be Gracious

Instead of thankless because it is the will of God

It can be very tempting to glorify the lack in life!! Lack of knowledge, lack of proper systems in society, LACK LACK LACK!!! ¬†Apart from God we all lack something beyond compare, without Him,¬†we are soul poor and depraved. When we are born anew as children of his Kingdom sometimes as the spoiled kids that we are we end up grumbling about the blessings we haven’t received. I’ve never been one for tantrums but sometimes I too can be like the Israelites complaining about manna which they did not know(A blessing from above) . In this season I’m trying not to look back on my past and get salty and perish like Lots wife, or look on my blessings and scowl because it doesn’t appear in the form I wanted it!!!.¬†I am looking forward, looking ahead without fear and doubt, in thankfulness for all that God has done in my life and all that his future has planned.

Here are a few things I’m thankful for today!!!

  1. Safety of loved ones
  2. God’s grace and mercy
  3. For peace that passes understanding in the midst of all this besetting.
  4. friends who love me and all my quirks you know who you are ‚̧
  5. Refinement

I fear I’ve already kept you too long congrats if you made it this far but my last thought is this : You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind!!!! The spirit we have been given is of POWER, LOVE and a ¬†SOUND MIND !!! therefore I can say that by His spirit alone I am able¬†to press forward to the goal of ¬†loving God with ALL of my Heart, ¬†ALL of my soul and ¬†ALL¬†of my Mind !!! Don’t stifle his spirit Milly!!! More about these stifling distractions in a later post till then may you Love God and embrace His powerful spirit!!!!

2 Timothy 1:7 (AMPC) 7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.

{feel the weight of it }

Photo Credits: Theme Photo: Meek Milly, Gifs: Giphy, memegenerator, Emily the Strange: goodreads.com

When you feel like giving up: Try

Let’s be honest we’ve all felt it, that feeling that builds up inside of your hearts and minds and possibly even your lungs telling you that you can’t possibly carry on.The moments when you’re purposefully wading through life but the fear and anxiety causes you to sink as you lose your forward progress and you are stagnated. The crippling¬†fear of the unknown that exists all around you. Everything just seems so vast and daunting. All around there’s¬†something out to get you in the depths of the great big sea surrounding your life. The result of listening to that unbelieving voice is a sinful failure to trust God’s word and the reassurance which bellows all along I’ve got you, trust me, why aren’t you acknowledging the spirit I’ve given you? You ought to be Confident, powerful, sound-minded and loving (Later post)!!!

When faced with challenges in your life do you sink? When the Jericho walls or roadblocks in your journey seem so fortified do you stop making your triumphant circles around? When you’re trying to help someone but they don’t accept it. When you’ve prayed for something but don’t receive. Ever feel like you haven’t done enough? Accomplished enough, helped people enough, (FILL IN BLANK) enough!!! Maybe the issue is not the fact that there is a challenge maybe the issue is: YOU!! What are you focusing on? Keep your eyes on the prize not on yourself!! Look outward to the race set before you. Don’t compare your race to others, just put one foot in front of the other, one stroke at a time, one pedal push at a time. If you stop, start again!! If you fall, get back up just don’t quit!!

For all that know me personally, know I’ve been on a training plan for the last two years which consists of journies in physical, nutrition and seeking God wholeheartedly . As I run my race God has really been revealing to me particular things about my life and character and He has continued the work of coaching some of my perspectives GREATLY!!! ¬†Shifting my focus I thought I’d share some of them but more on that later ūüôā

As I run my race sometimes I limp, sometimes I waver but by God’s grace I shall never STOP!!

Physical

I’ve always had particular battles¬†to face with my¬†physique and healthy choices, because did somebody say cake? ¬†Well over the last few years I have been working on my self-control and healthy stewardship of this earthly sojourner frame. As part of this process I picked up Triathlon training and I just completed a Try-a-Tri. I have to say I could not have done it without my friend’s support. I overcame the fear of swimming in open water with all the thoughts of creatures out to get me in the depths of the sea. Pushing past the currents that try to stir you off course and gliding onwards in spite of who may pass you by. On race day ¬†I was not fully ready, I hadn’t ridden in a month since my accident (Falling off) and I swam only in a pool for a couple of weeks (not the same thing) and well I am a new lover of running

I am so thankful for friends who came to support me ūüôā for your cheers and for your coaching ¬†and ¬†literally¬†rallying with me every step of the way I love you so much.

Here’s to running the race; the race that we were never meant to run alone.

Here are some of the moments of my Try ūüôā enjoy I hope you will run the race also.

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1 Corinthians 9:23-25  (ESV) 23 I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings.24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. 25 Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.

Hebrews 12:1-2 12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

{Run the race set before you on earth and toward eternity}

Betrothed: Be Faithful!!!

A Millyview and ramble inspired by the book of Hosea¬†and its reflection of God’s steadfast love for his Covenant People then and now,

You were a Whore in your attentions !!!

despicable…

There was nothing noble about your definitions.

Deplorable…

Fickle were your affections,

Unfaithful…

Factional were your motivations,

Egomaniacal…

You were a disgrace to the nations,

Shameful…

Maybe you didn’t see anything wrong with your actions,

Sinful…

It’s the system of the world: all the same in its prescriptions,

Conforming…

You say you needed provisions for your various ingestions,

no conception

To BAAL-peor was the  praise forever on your meditations,

Suicide,

Building empires,  towers, metal images and crouching in genuflections,

Pride,

Turn away from your whoredom,

Lest you die,

Jesus came down into your nation,

New Covenant drafting,

His sacrifice was beyond comprehension,

The passion,

Jesus came that you might live after resurrection,

Eternity in mind,

Though you were yet a sinner he offered reconciliation,

So divine,

You were a WHORE, but the Lord has called you

BETROTHED!!!

¬†Would you live as though….YOU KKNOW?

Hosea 2:19Amplified Bible (AMP)19 “And I will betroth you (Israel) to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, In loving-kindness and loyalty, and in compassion.

~Beloved,Stay pure~

2 Corinthians 11:2Amplified Bible (AMP) 2 I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy because I have promised you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ.

Are we the body of Christ breaking our bridegroom’s heart?

Are we spiritual virgins ready for our consummation when Christ returns?

Or have we allowed this world to rape us? With its continuous distractions personal and afar! From ideologies that completely disagree with His truth, with the pursuit of more knowledge that doesn’t glorify your name, to the Presidential elections as if they could bring any hope?

Or worse willfully relinquishing our covenant; rejecting our bridegroom!!! Your judgement is coming lest you turn from this way: REPENT!!!

To those who have called Jesus Lord have we been pure in our affections? Or have we been playing the whore? Seeking to serve the works of our hands as our Gods or living a meaningless life filled with all pleasures that leave us empty? Have we ceased to listen to his voice? To have his heart? How this breaks mine to think about ūüė¶

What must we do to ensure that when our bridegroom returns for us we are found ready?

We who have sipped from his cup are now in our preparation, we therefore must put on our righteous garments and cultivate a Godly life that is pleasing to him even whilst we wait on Him to return and draw us home.

Revelation 19:7-8Amplified Bible (AMP)7¬†‚ÄúLet us rejoice and shout for joy! Let us give Him glory and honor, for the marriage of the Lamb has come [at last] and His bride (the redeemed) has prepared herself.‚ÄĚ 8¬†She has been permitted to dress in fine linen, dazzling white and clean‚ÄĒfor the fine linen signifies the righteous acts of the saints [the ethical conduct, personal integrity, moral courage, and godly character of believers].

Ephesians 5:10-11¬†Amplified Bible (AMP)10¬†trying to learn [by experience] what is pleasing to the Lord [and letting your lifestyles be examples of what is most acceptable to Him‚ÄĒyour behavior expressing gratitude to God for your salvation].Do not participate in the worthless and unproductive deeds of darkness, but instead expose them [by exemplifying personal integrity, moral courage, and godly character]

The Lord is calling you!! No matter what you’ve been through in this life he longs to forgive you of your sin, to have a personal, intimate relationship with you and to work in you regardless of the list of your sin whether you count it as such or not. Whether you were born nobly or belong to high society or not, to God you are very precious, more than you know. This is not religion this is a way of life this is laying aside all that you previously regarded and following Christ!! The best relationship you could ever enter. So surrender to this resurrected life, that you may be spiritually alive!!!

Many of us try to understand these things with our human minds, but it requires a Holy Spirit perception and a continually renewed mind to point us rightly to God: what spirit informs you if not the holy one? With the Holy Spirit we are taught daily to rely fully on God for wisdom, for our brains are limited and his ways are far above ours,

He is ALL sufficient!!

His kingdom is not of this world but he longs for us to start living as citizen’s of such even now so rise up oh betrothed that you are and serve him faithfully. My President is GOD the ISHI of the Church!!!

Remember one who is betrothed to another represents the other’s reputation.

Walk into his promises and represent him well oh Bride of Christ!!

Hosea 14:9 (ESV)9 Whoever is wise, let him understand these things; whoever is discerning, let him know them; for the ways of the Lord are right,  and the upright walk in them, but transgressors stumble in them.

Stay Faithful, Be HoLy

 Be One

Ephesians 4:12-13(AMPC)His intention was the perfecting and the full equipping of the saints (His consecrated people), [that they should do] the work of ministering toward building up Christ’s body (the church), [That it might develop] until we all attain oneness in the faith and in the comprehension of the [[a]full and accurate] knowledge of the Son of God, that [we might arrive] at really mature manhood (the completeness of personality which is nothing less than the standard height of Christ’s own perfection), the measure of the stature of the fullness of the Christ and the completeness found in Him.

~Feel the weight of it~

 

Roots Manoeuvre

{Inspired by Daniel 4}

Desiring to be an abundant tree ?

I  was made a Stump: a remnant spot, A smear,
The world’s axe had cleared,
The spirit of folly had sullied,
Driven by evil, fear, pride  and the like: bowing to those that scurried,

Tyrants (other Lords),

Why couldn’t I see?

This thing in my right hand was a lie!!!
Storms came and my gripping was weak,
Floods raged and along the torrents washed,

Why didn’t I see you?

(You were always there)

(You were always there)

‚ôęLet the spirit move you?!!! ‚ôę

Oh but what spirit for I was not acquainted,
Exposed to controlling powers still arrested,
Telling me I could handle it as suggested ,
Just a Stump!!! Rejected
Infected were the waters ingested,
Or was there no water sequestered?

Why did I fall asleep?

The fruit that produced only withered and decayed, Though some would say hurray insatiate,
When you have no idea what real fruit should be,
To buds, it’s like Noni compared to mango Julie,

Will it thrive?

Or sugar apples to more correctly describe some heavenly passion fruit you have never contrived,
How had taste been acquired?
From birth, but was a new day not desired?
Rinkydink Roots reaching for rubble,
Decrepit stubble,

Was the view different from the muddle

?

Haughty looks destroy,

Haughty looks destroy,

Haughty looks destroy,

Bars closed upon me continually; yet you brought up my life from the pit, O Lord my God.

Overwhelmed  to meet your Grace!!

When I could admit:Heaven rules and Has Dominion over all,

Heaven RULES,

Who have I in heaven but YOU,

Father, Son, Holy Spirit,

I love you,

There is nothing else,

Feel the weight of it and drink abundantly from the pure source,

photogrid_1478025340902

Switching Gears

For the past month, I have been training for a duathlon  Run-cycle-Run.

pictures cycling bikes tour de france peter sagan

I am not a runner. 

I am not a cyclist. 

I’m just a regular human.

I am someone who likes a challenge always have, always will.

So I dedicated this race to my mum as I was putting my body under subjection as a way of saying in solidarity if I can you can. If I could go above and beyond my comfort then making certain changes against all odds wouldn’t seem as hard. After all,as the African proverb says “if you want to go fast go alone but if you want to go far go together“. I was determined¬†to be there together with my family in the hope that we could accomplish the changes we set out to do, to improve our healthy lifestyle and to be good stewards of the blessing of these bodies given to us. Maybe even a Meek Milly Motivational Mascot ?

So in my attempt to become a duathlete I started training….I named my team #TeamTempo and off I went. Finding my rhythm.

exercise

Did I say I am not a runner? As I panted for breath, with drops of warm sweat dripping down my arms I realised how hard it would be to endure. Each step I took drawing me closer to the expected end but would I ever make it, only when I stopped it was excruciatingly difficult to keep up …PACE. I had to keep going: to, NEVER…LET IT…DROP!!!!

What happens when you push yourself faster than you can handle? Your respiration becomes anaerobic as you grasp for breath, you faint, you maybe quit. You Stop! Holding your knees as you bend over wheezing¬†to catch yourself as countless others pass by, then you begin again with a little less energy, but inhaling steadily.Running at pace then you hit the symbolic wall that braces you from that promised land of mileage you intended to reach as was the hope of all those you ran the race. Little did you know there was a reward for those who were faithful and who would listen to the leading of the coach. If you had paced yourself , though you would have to go all the more slowly you would make it to the distance you needed to go and the wall would vanish from your way. I don’t know about you but I don’t like to walk slowly. I walk fast I like to walk with people who walk fast, if you walk faster than me I’ll be keeping up. It seemed counterintuitive to pace oneself but as I continued making the circuit around the savannah I understood the purpose. I have never in my life run 2 miles without stopping for breath.

The race was not for the swift.

Along the way, I had so much encouragement from family (my number one support system) and my friends who are family too, rooting just for me. There were friends that introduced me to their running club and pushed me further than I ever thought I could run (SIX miles steady)!!!! With the crumbling of the walls I had often faced, I found a new love for running which I now think I will never lose.

{I am now a runner.}

Cycling was getting better as well as a gracious friend offered to lend me their bike for the big day and as I got used to it I felt the speed as I propelled myself forward, slicing through the air like an aerofoil with the lowest drag . Though I felt like I was winning there was something awry in the undertones at play. Pedalling one afternoon the effort put in was not proportional to the output of distance being achieved. As my increasingly heavy legs pushed rapidly one pedal at a time I was labouring to move forward. The sun beat down on me but I was determined to finish the dry run just days before the race on Sunday. Riding close to the edge because I thought I’d be safe there: safe from idiot drivers, safe from speed bumps, just safe!!!

But the risk of living life on the edge is that you might fall off!! 

I hit a patch of the uneven road close to the edge I was hugging and as my already unstable grip on the handle bars tried to correct, I overshot, lost my balance and I catapulted off the road and into the bush at the side. Not knowing what had happened I lay there bewildered for a few moments: incredulous. As if shaken to life I sat up and appraised myself sceptically. My first concern was if the bike was alright: phew!!! Check!!

Up I got as my mother quickly drove up behind me and a fellow rider came to assess the situation: asking if I was alright as I giggled uncontrollably.

It’s really not funny my mum kept repeating. As I nervously giggled and gestured as if I would continue my dry run, she said: “No we need to get you home” Off rides the fellow cyclist as he wished me a speedy recovery and for the grass not to itch me. “Let’s Look at your knee” pulling the ripped tights over it gently.

{Accidents Happen}

She rushed me home and then to the clinic and it turned out I needed stitches.

{There’s a first time for everything}

Some things I wish we never had to experience, but in all of this, I am thankful that it was not worse. I didn’t break anything, I didn’t hit my head, just my chin and thankfully I was wearing a helmet.

God knows why this happened and on the day I had just received my race kit, ecstatic to be a part of my first ever duathlon. What a thing to happen and what timing!! ūüė¶

Having much time to reflect on the happenings of this past month I have seen how there are times in my own life when I may be going through it either in the wrong gear or too close to the edge for comfort. God has shown me at times which gears I needed to switch to ensure that my progression was as a result of his propulsion and not my effort. God has shown me areas in my life where I needed to back away from the edges from which I so easily may fall.

And in those times when I have fallen, he was the one pulling me up and dressing my wounds, stitching me up and setting me right. It was by his strength that I would finish my race and endure till the end. Psalm 118:13-14 I was pushed hard, so that I was falling, but the LORD helped me. The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.

Psalm 145:14-16 The LORD helps the fallen and lifts those bent beneath their loads. The eyes of all look to you in hope; you give them their food as they need it. When you open your hand, you satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing.

So I won’t be competing in this round of flow energy Sunday but you bet I’ll be back at it as soon as I can.

{Meek Milly’s Mending}


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